03 7 / 2012

katiebeerawr:

Talking to Mike about his little 3 year old niece Haylee and how she just woke up.


Mike: “I’m hoping Haylee will wipe herself after going potty, I told her she’s a big girl and she can do it.”
Me: “Aww Haha.”
Mike: “I called her mom and she said if it’s poop I have to.”
Me: “Aw man. I guess you could say that’s…. shitty.”

29 4 / 2012

I’d like to begin by saying that I’ve looked up to you a good portion of my life.

Not aspired to be like you, not really, but you’ve been a rock in the family that we don’t even have.

But.

You are an idiot, and I’m losing faith in you here.

One. When I was baking cookies, you didn’t know that bread kept the brown sugar from getting hard. I understand you don’t use it NOW, but I’m sure you used to. Also considering your mom and our grandma, there is no way in fucking hell this was not told to you at some point in your life. So what the hell?

Two. Vitamin D helps your body ABSORB calcium, it does not sap it from your bones. You need vitamin D, it is fucking essential. People with the lowest vitamin D levels are twice as likely to die from heart disease and other causes than those with the highest. They’re also twice as likely to have a heart attack.
The sun boosts your body’s production of the vitamin.
If it sapped the calcium from your bones and jump started osteoporosis, everyone living in Vegas would be a mutant fucking slug person by age 15, schlumping down the strip on custom made scooters to accommodate your twisted ass world.

If it sapped the calcium from your bones, everytime you take Jake to the park you’re putting him in danger. I know for a damn fact you don’t put sunscreen on him, and if he’s in the sun for 15 minutes he’s getting a full days worth of vitamin D.
YOU’RE KILLING YOUR CHILD BEFORE HE EVEN HAS A CHANCE TO LIVE.

Sincerely,
Your cousin

21 4 / 2012

March or April

In March Mike told me he loved me and stuff was just going pretty damn niftily with him. And I think March was just kinda a good month overall. I don’t really remember though.

And April is when I got my job and realized I’m still going to be dating Mike when he leaves. Which is going to be tough as shit, but at least I’ll still have him.

Btw niftily is in fact a word, my spell check is not complaining about it at all.

12 4 / 2012

I’ve been slacking on these, so I’m just gonna do two today cause I feel like it.

The last argument I had.

Jokingly?
With Mike over whether or not I wanted him to freeze to death.

Serious?
With my dad cause he’s a fucking prick.

03 4 / 2012

I got a job :D
I’ve been looking the entire 6 months I’ve been in Vegas and I finally got a job.

A good one and a good-paying one at that.
<3

21 3 / 2012

Dis is Mike.
And baby Haylee.

I actually laughed uploading this picture because not too long ago it probably would have been a picture of like, Nova or some other Creature or a celebrity or something.
And now I have a boyfriend to fangirl over :3

Anyway.
I like him because he’s very very sweet.
He’s affectionate.
He likes kids.
He loves animals.
He’s smart.
He’s funny.
He’s goofy.
He’s street smart.
He’s protective.
He’s really goddamn attractive.
He’s pretty much perfect.
And I don’t use that word lightly.
But I honestly feel no shame in using it to describe him.

I just wish he wasn’t leaving </3

20 3 / 2012

Opposite

1 -
2 -
3 -
4 -
5 -

Same

1 - Annoying sense of entitlement.
2 - Generally very superficial.
3 - Whiny, loud and annoying.
4 - Far too worried about things that don’t matter.
5 -

I don’t really like to base what irritates me based purely on the sex of a person.
Because there are boys who have those same 4 traits, and girl who are totally awesome.
But.
For the most part, I usually am not irritated by any guys or what they do.
Girls on the other hand, tend to piss me off and I usually dislike most of them.

15 3 / 2012

The past two years.
Well.

This time in 2010 I never thought I was going to be engaged.
I was insanely scared to leave high school.
I had one of the best friends I could ask for.
I was going to be going on one of the most monumental trips of my life that summer.
I’d finally gotten rid of someone who was an immense pest at the time.
I felt really good about myself.
School was great.

Now.
I feel like a fucking idiot for having gotten engaged, or even dating that person.
I miss high school.
I still have one of the best friends I could ask for.
I’m good friends with that immense pest now.
I miss that summer and have extremely fond memories of it.
I feel even better about myself.

I’m more tolerant.
I’m less sad because I no longer live at home.
I have a much better life in general.
I’m proud of things I’ve accomplished now, because I’ve actually managed to do a few things with my life in the past two years.
I’m nicer.
I have more friends.
I finally have had a job.
3 in fact.
I’ve experienced moving out, twice.
I’ve learned a lot about people, and myself.
I’ve gotten to try a lot of new things I never had before.

Ultimately, I don’t feel like I’ve changed all that much.
But really I’ve changed a lot, in many small ways.

01 3 / 2012

Talking to Mike about his little 3 year old niece Haylee and how she just woke up.


Mike: “I’m hoping Haylee will wipe herself after going potty, I told her she’s a big girl and she can do it.”
Me: “Aww Haha.”
Mike: “I called her mom and she said if it’s poop I have to.”
Me: “Aw man. I guess you could say that’s…. shitty.”

09 1 / 2012

I used to have awkward sexual memories, then I took a harpoon to the face.

Take that you stupid ass arrow to the knee jokes.
You used to be funny BUT THEN WE HARPOONED YOUR STUPID ASS UNFUNNY OVERUSED FACE.